Because Apparently These Are Things

I’ve been told I need to start writing about some of the crazy dating experiences I have had.  To be honest, some of them are almost unspeakable in their vulgarity and insanity.  Yet, so many women I have talked to share equally horrifying stories so it needs said.  If we keep running around not talking about it then it continues on.  So today I am going to write the most horrible one I’ve had.  If you can’t handle being told really dirty things, now is the time to exit on out of this.  However, I think if you are a woman out there trying to date right now, you’re going to be nodding your head saying YAS GIRL! by the end of this.

I received a message from a local guy one day on one of my dating apps.  I don’t remember which one it was at the time, but it was likely either Plenty Of Fish or Bumble.  The person started off fairly normal.  What do you have going on today?  What are you looking for on here?  What kind of movies do you like?  But then, in an instant, all things normal went out the window…Would you like to be my sex slave?

Excuse me?  Your what??

No, I hadn’t misread that.  He proceeded to tell me that it wasn’t a lifestyle for everyone, but it really was for him.  He thought it could be for me too.  He told me I’d enjoy it, but I must commit my life to treating him like a god.  He told me I would enjoy being “HIS” and that I would do whatever he wanted.  If he wanted it, I would spend the day with my tongue in his butt.

As I sat there in complete shock, he continued on.

Did I want to be bred?  He wanted to breed me.  I would spend as much time pregnant as possible.  As my eyes bulged out of my head because I’m pretty sure you “breed” animals not people, he went in for the grand finale.  I would stay pregnant, he informed me, because he wanted to milk me.  He went into great detail about how I would be hooked up to cow udders in my pen and milked.

I finally put my eyes back in my head, literally closed my mouth with my hand, and found the block button.

This was one of my first experiences back into the dating world.  I have had many more like it.  I just, I’m not even sure why someone would think that this is ok.  I’m not in denial…I’m well aware people have sex before marriage these days.  I’m well aware most guys will try to put moves on a girl while they are dating.  But what I can’t fathom is why you would pick a random stranger and just start into these things.

You have some freaky sex ideas…great…ask the person if they like freaky sex things, let majority of them tell you no, and walk away.  I promise over 90% of us do not want to be bred, milked, or sex slaves.  And for the women out there turned on by this, like is that really how it works?   Some stranger walks up and says…hey you look great…it would be cool if you came home with me like now and I could breed you tonight…because I’m thinking even girls into this kinda thing would like to get to know a person they are going to refer to as Master.  Or maybe I’m wrong…I kinda don’t want to know.  Either way, I think the “Masters” out there might need to screen a little better and be a little more judicial in their asking.

I made it through human sexuality class, which was pretty liberal if I say so myself, and didn’t know milking and breeding were things…apparently they are things.  I could have lived the rest of my life not knowing they were things.

So let me hear you in the comments…what weird things have strangers asked you to do with them?

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